PODCAST - "Counsellor Convos" with Bishop Finton Monahan - talking about the church and mental health.

ARTICLE - In "The Clare Champion Newspaper" Counsellor Sheila McMahon with Bishop Finton Monahan - talking about the church and mental health.

PODCAST - "Counsellor Convos" with Bishop Finton Monahan - talking about the church and mental health.

UK based Mental Health Counsellor and Comedienne Sheila McMahon shares her thoughts on managing suicidal thoughts and intent during Covid-19. Sheila, a published author and a survivor of mental Ill health, has also appeared on TV, radio and performed numerous shows to help organisations and charities. Suicide is a word that most people avoid. This is understandable when we explore the stigma attached. The stigma of suicide Historically, in our society people were judged for taking their own life. Suicide was seen as a criminal act and people were denied their own proper burial. It was only in 1961 that the Suicide Act came about in the United Kingdom. It decriminalised the act of suicide in England and Wales so that those who failed in the attempt to kill themselves would no longer be prosecuted. In Ireland it has only been since 1993 that the act of suicide was deemed no longer a crime. In some countries today suicide is still seen as a crime. Suicidal factors With the second lockdown, loneliness, underlying mental health conditions and as we head into winter along with S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) can be a ticking time bomb for rising rates of suicide. No one should have to answer the door to be told their loved one has been taken by suicide, however this was the case for Helen where 5 weeks into the first lockdown, her son Ben took his own life. People like Ben, who struggled with mental health issues before the lockdown can have their feelings intensified by this current situation and sometimes it’s just too overwhelming. ‘It is time to get talking’ This is why, after taking my sell-out mental health theatre shows online, I am doing a special show dedicated to understanding suicide and suicide prevention during the COVID-19 pandemic. “As a survivor of mental ill health, now working as a counsellor during this pandemic, we need more than ever to talk about suicide and early interventions to prevent further deaths” Now it’s crucial for the UK to begin talking about suicide and eliminate the stigma surrounding discussing suicide. When we look at suicide prevention we can learn how to listen to someone with suicidal thoughts. We can take the pressure off of having to ‘Fix’ someone as most times the person just needs an outlet to talk about their suicidal thoughts without being judged. We can learn helpful responses like…“I don’t know how you are feeling but if you want to cry, shout, scream I’m okay with that” Bottling up emotions is one of the biggest factors that leads to suicide so encouraging the person to talk or being ok with them taking their anger out on a punch bag can be a huge relief for someone struggling. It is so important that we are ok with not being ok. This time more than ever we will be up and down like an emotional roller coaster. If we want people to talk more and be ok with showing their feelings then we need to learn how to do this ourselves first, so we are modelling the behaviour we want to see. We as a society can create change. ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’ The show will address other difficult topics, such as the fact men are 3 times more likely to take their own life and the damaging 'man up' ideology that is still present in the UK. There are so many factors that lead to someone taking their own life, In the show we will explore what are the signs and symptoms to watch out for, what we can do about it and how we can help each other. The show will hopefully provide the early intervention people need to address the topic of suicide and its relationship with the COVID-19 pandemic before more tragic casualties take place. Early intervention is critical now. The rise of suicide rates is inevitable, however we can do something about this and I hope my show will make a difference towards understanding, reducing the stigma and giving hope. We are all in this together. We are not in the same boat as everyone’s boat is different however we are all affected by this. Some people will feel like they are drowning, some will feel like their head is just above water. Covid is the storm and for some people the storm may feel never ending. When you are in a deep depression, a person can feel hopeless and worthless. However we all deserve to have self-worth and live a fulfilled life. Sometimes we need compassion, kindness and someone who can reach out when we are sinking and say ‘I’ve got you’. You are not in this on your own and we can get through this together. In the show I will be sharing grounding techniques so we can just focus on what we can do now. Learning how to just be in the moment to keep ourselves centred and well. All we have is the very minute we are in and we can learn to take it day by day while being compassionate with each other. I think we owe it to Ben and loved ones we have lost to suicide to educate ourselves about this illness to prevent further deaths. We can weather this storm and we need each other now more than ever. Tickets for the online event can be purchased at https://www.mindmanagementforyou.com/. The show will take place at 7:45 pm on Saturday 28th November via Zoom and 10% of the profits from the show will go to the Samaritans. If you are struggling to cope, please call Samaritans for free on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org .

 When the first lockdown happened, there was a sense of let’s make the most of it – let’s do up the house and spend quality time with our family. For some it was like a respite from their work and a chance to get things done. I don’t think most of us expected to be heading into restrictions again and a second wave.

Sheila has appeared numerous times at The Lichfield Garrick Theatre, The Stafford Gatehouse Theatre, The Redditch Palace Theatre. She has also appeared on BBC and ITV, and is writing about ‘Inner Peace with Uncertainty’. We’re all having to adapt in these difficult times. When the lockdown started, I had to transfer my face to face counselling business to an online service. I knew the first thing I had to do was change my mind set . Before this situation I would have said, “I’m no good with technology”. “I just can’t do it!”. I knew I couldn’t keep thinking that way as it wouldn’t help. So, instead of saying, “I can’t!”, I changed it to “How can I?’’ Those 3 words have made a massive difference to how I have adapted to this current situation. I decided to be curious about technology, give myself a chance to learn and adapt a belief that I can do it. I started to feel surprisingly excited at what I could achieve. Since then, I have continued to enjoy learning new ways of using technology, and have become very grateful for what the online world allows us to do. Gratitude That leads me nicely into gratitude. I keep a gratitude journal. If you don’t do this already then I highly recommend it. This is when you take time out to reflect on things you already have that you are grateful for. At the end of each day I reflect on the three highlights of my day. We get what we focus on, so if I focus on all the negative stuff then I will just get more of it. I am in control of what I focus on, so it makes sense to focus on positive things. One of the positives from this situation is our newfound appreciation for the NHS. Also going outside to clap for our health care system helped bring us together and reminded us that we are not on our own. It has given us community spirit. Control For those of you who feel out of control, you can choose to focus on what IS in your control, like the things you do in your day. You can decide how you want your day to be. You can make up a routine to create structure and control. You can also say the serenity prayer, which helps to keep me grounded during difficult times. The prayer doesn’t have to be from a religious point of view, you can say it to the universe or whatever you want. The words are: Grant me the serenity, To accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. It can feel like you have no control with what’s going on in the outside world because this is all new, so we are all learning as we go along. Instead, can focus on what IS in our control, such as helping the wider world by washing our hands, social distancing and staying indoors. I read another joke recently, about Snow White saying to the Seven Dwarves, “I want you all to stay at home during this pandemic to stay safe - except for you Sneezy, you can ‘eff off!” Humour They say laughter is the best medicine, and I’ve been enjoying the topical jokes and stories. I’ve been setting aside time to have a good laugh, and have enjoyed jokes like the ones used in this article, such as: ‘I used to cough to hide my farts, now I fart to hide my cough!’ I’ve created some of my own funny videos, such as when I dressed as Sister Mary parasailing, and there’s a James Bond spoof too. They’re all on my YouTube channel if you fancy a giggle. Resources For those who don’t know, I have been performing Mental Health theatre shows for the last five years. I was due to perform my new mental health show at the Lichfield Garrick Theatre in April, which ironically was about ‘Anxiety’! Although the show had to be postponed, I thought there were messages in it that still needed to be shared, so, I’ve written a free online show about anxiety as a resource for the current climate, providing valuable information about useful skills and coping mechanisms. Just visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwRF6v_zRHE&t=1929s to view. Also on my YouTube page, ‘Sheila’s YouTube Channel’ you can find useful resources, such as ‘the healing hug’ technique, a ‘Manage Your Thoughts’ daily tracker and a guided relaxation. Just to let you know, the live theatre show at the Lichfield Garrick has been postponed to Saturday 10 th October, which is actually World Mental Health Day! I hope you will be able to join me in person for that show. Writing and recording the online show on anxiety has certainly helped me during this time. It was strange to write about a process that I was going through too! In the show I talk about the stages of grief, and the rollercoaster of emotions we may be feeling. However we’re personally affected during this pandemic, all of us are experiencing loss of some nature, whether that’s loss of a loved one, or loss of your job, income, lifestyle or wedding. That’s why it’s perfectly normal to feel ok one day and feel very low another. As a counsellor and a survivor of mental ill health I encourage you to allow emotions like sadness or anger to surface and be off loaded in a healthy way like talking or using a punch bag.